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Simple Tips to an Appealing Personality

sunnypeter — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 19:23:16 +0000

Can human personality be changed? This is a hugely debated topic. There are both schools of thought prevalent. Some argue that our personality is an intrinsic part of our life whereas there are others who would say that personality can be trained in. However, the most commonly believed fact lies somewhere in the middle. It is indeed true that overhauling our personality type may not be completely possible; however, we can indeed change certain facets of our personality to make ourselves successful and appealing as human beings.

Filed under: Health & Wellness, Self Help & Development

To run your program well, get your back-end in order

sunnypeter — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 20:16:39 +0000

I got the idea to write this article from the conceptual format of how software programs are developed. Most of us will be aware of how software programs get created. Hundreds of software engineers work, keying in thousands of codes running each component multiple times and eventually integrating the whole process into one, so as to give, at the convenience of your finger tips, some of the best solutions which you might not have imagined. Solutions that can leave you awestruck and thinking…Oh Wow! How was that actually possible?

Now apply the same principles to your life. Think of yourself as a software program which is programmed to work to such an effect that will leave others awestruck. Yes! I know what many of you are thinking about. Indeed, life is not a software programme and you are not machines. Life is immensely dynamic than can ever be conceptualized by all the programmers in the world. But here, my effort is to only use the idea of software development as a contextual example. I hope to be forgiven for this misdemeanor, if someone may consider it so.

Coming back to the point that I am trying to make; in a software program, what goes in, comes out in a different form. You enter raw data into a program and it delivers you a report the way you want it to come. Human life is pretty much similar. Though human’s are much, much more dynamic than a software program, you cannot deny the fact that we get result based on what you give to your lives. You study in school to gain knowledge, later on many of you may go into various professions.

Filed under: Health & Wellness, Self Help & Development

Art of Anger Management: Avoid the Action versus Reaction Pitfall

sunnypeter — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 19:30:18 +0000

Anger is known to be a psycho-physiological killer. A mere human emotion, just like joy, happiness or sadness; anger is a reaction that our body uses to demonstrate an extreme sense of anguish and unhappiness with a particular condition in which we are. Unlike sadness which is an obvious display under such a condition, anger is an emotion we have towards the person and/or environment that we may have identified as being the reason leading to that condition. For instance, when we see or hear of a close relative or friend killed under a violent condition, the human emotion is one of sorrow or sadness at the death coupled with anger and hatred against the people or environment that caused the death.

There are some aspects about anger that needs to be mentioned, before we discuss about its management. Firstly, anger is a very normal and natural phenomenon of human reaction to people and circumstances surrounding them. Secondly, in most cases, people who evaluate their anger, briefly later, feel that they might have overreacted and tend to be apologetic about having reacted the way they did. This realisation often leads to a sense of distress. Thirdly, having said that anger is a very normal and natural phenomenon, it must however be mentioned that, the problem with anger lies in our failure to manage it resourcefully. It has been found that our failure to manage anger often leads to rage which is a major reason for conflict in society, both in our personal and professional lives. Today, it is believed that at least one out of five Americans have a problem managing their anger. This personality malfunction can be related to the modern day high-stress life that most people live. Psychologists believe that if anger is well managed, it can prove to be an immense source of courage and mental strength rather than remorse.

Filed under: Health & Wellness, Self Help & Development

Problem Solving: The Power Lies in Creative Thinking

sunnypeter — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 19:40:00 +0000

Problems are a part and parcel of our life and solving them is a natural process from many. In problem situations people tend to react is different ways. For some problem solving seems to a very natural process. They tend to have a sparkle in their eyes as they wade through crisis situations. On the other hand there are some who tend to have a more hysterical approach when they are put into crisis scenarios.

How people solve problems has been a subject of extensive psychological study. Psychologists and researchers have tried to find out why different people react in different ways when they seem to end up in crisis situations. A volume of research in this subject is available in the public domain. However, the scope of this article in not to look upon these already available research thesis on the subject, in fact the focus on this article will be to look at creative ways of problem solving which can be applied in our day to day life environments.

But first, why is it after all important to develop creative problem solving skills? How is it different from traditional approaches of problem solving? I shall not go by the conventional explanation of what creative problem solving is or how it is different from the more traditional approaches. To put things in a perspective, suffice saying that the clear difference between a creative approach to problem solving from the more traditional approach (if we can call it one) is the level of involvement that a subject has towards a problem. Whereas in a traditional approach our personality characteristic is towards problem avoidance, unlike that, in a creative approach our effort is to adopt a hands on mechanism towards solving the problem. The traditional approach thus leads to a mechanism of haphazard and fussy response, whereas a creative approach generates a well-thought about logical solutions to the crisis at hand.

Filed under: Health & Wellness, Self Help & Development

Life is no war; but a few strategies that help

sunnypeter — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 18:26:13 +0000

Indeed, life is not a war. You do not need to live it as one. But there is a strategy from war that can prove to be very helpful in life, particularly in your path to growth and progress towards your goals.

Which is the last war movie you remember having watched, go back to think about it. Pick up any of them, and you will know that troops keep consolidating their position as the move forward into enemy territory. It is all so natural; they dig themselves in, as they proceed. In this article, I will try to pick up a few strings of thought that come from war strategy of digging yourself in.

The idea is to fortify and consolidate what you have achieved. Just like in war, as you keep capturing each step towards your goal, you must remember to fortify your position, before you decide to capture the next post (or peak).

Let me explain the proposition by giving you an example. As student, we are always taught the importance of revising our lessons. What does revising mean. It is essentially a process by which your mind consolidates what you have already learnt in your earlier class. It is a process by which your mind reflects over what has been studied so as to enable you to recollect it better and faster for your exams. Psychologically speaking, the more you revise the easier it becomes for your brain to play back all that you have learnt. This example tells about a lot about human personality, about the way people think and the way they act. It tells about the need to ensure that we have established ourselves before we proceed further – else the supply line gets cracking.

Filed under: Health & Wellness, Self Help & Development

The Art of Public Speaking: the Devil lives in fear

sunnypeter — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 18:51:18 +0000

Have you ever asked yourself how many people around you are scared of public speaking? Chances are that a vast majority of them would be. Most of us shiver inside our pants when we are asked to speak on a public platform. This article does not claim to be able to help you get rid of that fear living within you. It is you, who has to make an effort to chase it out of your life. All that this article will seek to do is to tell you a few characteristics of that devil within, that devil which scares you every time you decide to take center-stage. Characteristics that can help you win over the fear that lurks within.

Frankly, everyone likes to be at the center-stage, in fact everyone is at some point of their life is forced to take the center-stage. How we behave at that given point of time may sometimes decide the course that our lives will take.

I once worked in a company where one of my colleagues was forced under certain circumstances to take the place of her boss and make a project presentation to few officials from a leading bank. She was scared to death; but went on to make it in front of the bankers and top management of the company. Her effort was so well received that she became a regular at the job and climbed the corporate ladder much faster than the other would have thought. That one day changed the course of her life. In fact, it was that one moment when she refused to be cowed down by the fear within her, got up from her chair and stood in front of the top honchos that enabled her to demonstrate her capability. Her presentation was not flawless, but it was considered a remarkable effort particularly at a time when the company was struggling to get someone to present its case before the bankers.

Filed under: Health & Wellness, Self Help & Development

How to Make Friends? Get into their shoes and think!

sunnypeter — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 10:52:21 +0000

Search out for one of the most queried personality development questions – how to make friends on Google, and you end up with 278,000,000 or more results. Read whatever is humanly possible and chances are that you will continue to remain the same way as you were when you started with the search. Why is it so? Why do some people find it so difficult to make friends whereas some others are able to do it with so much ease?

We live in a world where social networking is booming. Sites like Orkut, Facebook and Twitter govern the way we live and spend our time. Social networking is indeed the buzz word today as more and more people are getting online to make friends. But the objective of this article is not to looking at making friends online. What we are looking at discussing here is about making friends in the real world (unlike the virtual world –wrong application, I know); people physically living around you.

This article runs the risk of joining the others that make up the Google list of 278,000,000. The only way it can be avoided is if it adds some value to your life. That would only possible if this article is intuitive and impressive enough to lead you into action. To achieve that is the most difficult aspects of writing on topics of personality development. However, I have been toying with the idea and thought, that to achieve it, I need to step away from the I-know-all-you-listen-to-me approach.

With the objective as stated above, this article would have been to innovative and interactive in whatever it seeks to deliver. How to make friends is a question which can never have a right or wrong answer. There could be as many ways of making friends, as there are people on this planet. Every person is unique and in his or her uniqueness have their own versatile way of making friends. In other words, there is no ‘one cut, fit all size’ answer to this question.

Filed under: Health & Wellness, Self Help & Development

Adjust the Focus; Get the Goal in Sight

sunnypeter — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 11:01:37 +0000

First of all, thank you to all who cared to read my first article, “Discover Yourself to Achieve your Goal” at Personality Cafe. It’s just been a few days that I have been here and I can already feel the sense of warmth that this place gives. I hope that readers and visitors here will be able to achieve some value from the time that you spend at the Personality Cafe. I look forward to your feedback and comments on how we can make this place the liveliest and interactive personality development site on the Internet. The type of topics and personality issues that we need to talk about and discuss here. In this article I intend to carry forward a discussion on the focus of life from my first post mentioned above.

One of the many frequent queries that readers will have when they read articles on a topic like personality development is, how to actually apply these ideas to our daily life. Most of us, when we read an article on personality development tend to invariably agree with whatever the author has to say. However, soon after, we tend to forget what we have read, let alone practicing the concepts and ideas that the article sought to speak about. We continue to remain confused, and fail to understand that the real fun of personality development lies not in the reading; neither in the achieving, but in the attempting.

Filed under: Health & Wellness, Self Help & Development

Generational Gaps: Need to Collaborate Rather than Compete

sunnypeter — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 20:03:02 +0000

Apart from the initial years of growing up in a family, the strongest and, if I may call it so, the worst impact of the great generational divide is felt at the work place. We may have a boss who is 30 or even 40 years older to us. We feel that he does not understand the nuances of neither the modern-day corporate life, nor business management in an era of globalization. The trouble is that he (or she) does not even understand the power of the Internet, of what Twitter means or even the simple PC is all about. He continues to insist on writing his notes, pen on paper, and thrusts the job of typing them, down through our spine. There is a huge difference in the way we perceive the world, and how they look at it. Apart from his, there are a few other generations in between for us to cope with.

Since the end of the Second World War, intense research of the psycho-sociological aspects of generational gaps at the work place is being carried out. With the entry of human resource or organizational development consulting as an important domain in business management, interesting evidence, both of qualitative and quantitative nature is emerging on how individuals and companies are coping with the generational divide. A serious concern that seems to be emerging in this scenario is the lack of collaboration among different generations at the work place. A phenomenon, that threatens to blow away thousands of years of intangible experience and knowledge that older staff in companies have gained from being passed on to younger generations. The problem lies when the Generation X and Y are unable to communicate and collaborate with matures and baby boomers.

Filed under: Business & Trade, Health & Wellness, Self Help & Development

Proud to be an Introvert: They Got the Ingredients to Succeed

sunnypeter — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 04:37:55 +0000

Let me start by recapitulating what I spoke of in my last article. My contention there was that, we do not necessarily need to be an extrovert to achieve success in life. In fact, to believe that only an extrovert can succeed is a misnomer.

In my mind the idea that extroverts stand at an advantage when it comes to moving up the “proverbial ladder” of life, is an argument originating from the belief that they are more popular among their peers due to their outward oriented personality. People believe that they thus are in a position of advantage to convert this popularity into success.

However, this is merely a myth. It is not always easy to convert, “popularity” into “success”. Being the most popular person in your class or office may not be enough to impress the girl or boy you like. Similarly, as you go up the ladder there are various other factors that take precedence over your being “popular” or “not so popular”. Most important of these factors, is your ability to deliver on the commitments you make. From a manager to a company CEO, from a school teacher to a freelance writer, what defines success is our ability to deliver what we have promised. You fail to do that and you are bound to unsuccessful, whatever personality type you belong to.

Filed under: Health & Wellness, Self Help & Development